My voice is under arrest

Indeed. The vocals killed it for me. They're just tolerable and I feel they could be much better. Guitar playing is a bit funky and pretty interesting compared to a lot of other Dylan wannabes out there.

Fascinating

I can hear the influence of Merzbow at certain points. You struggle with achieving atmosphere, as there are many indistinct sounds that feel thrown in randomly. The guitar for one thing could be more interesting... the whole backwards effect is a tired cliche. All in all, it needs more focus. I don't any sense of what this song is about. I would simply suggest experimenting more.

Meticulous but a bit flawed

I'm not a big fan of "hyperrealism," but this is quite nice overall. I don't know about the lighting though... the shadow in the foreground gives it almost sinister, spooky quality. Juxtaposed with such bright, cheerful expressions I don't think it gets the right vibe across.

This brings me to the main issue: because of the lighting and center positioning, the people in the background become the centerpiece and they aren't fitting. The one with the glasses is my main problem. Her expression just throws me off completely... talk about a fish out of water (in fact, I feel this image would be much better if she wasn't there at all). The background is also a bit hard to distinguish to begin with. For all I know this could be inside a spaceship. For technique I would give it a 9/10. Concept-wise a 6/10. Overall, I would say either change the lighting or change the glasses chick. it has the potential to be great, so keep at it!